Quote-o-rama:
The Big Movie File: N-Q
"You know, there's like a butt-load of gangs at this school. This one gang kept wanting me to join because I'm pretty good with a bo staff." _Napoleon Dynamite_ Don: Hey, Napoleon. What did you do last summer again? Napoleon: I told you! I spent it with my uncle in Alaska hunting wolverines! Don: Did you shoot any? Napoleon: Yes, like 50 of 'em! They kept trying to attack my cousins, what the heck would you do in a situation like that? _Napoleon Dynamite_ "Well, I have all your equipment in my locker. You should probably come get it cause I can't fit my nunchucks in there anymore." _Napoleon Dynamite_ "It's impossible you're this dumb." -Oak, _Narc_ "I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" _Network_ "You know those moments when a man makes a decision that'll change his entire life and he steps up to become the hero he was meant to be? This ain't one of those moments." -Luther, _The New Guy_ [teaching Dizzy how to fight] Clem: First thing you wanna do is gouge the dude's eyes out. Luther: Hey, it's just kids in high school. Clem: Oh. So you're gonna want to fight dirty. _The New Guy_ Torin: And today we meet our destiny! Hawkeye: ...She means that in a good way, right? Akari: Probably better if we don't know. _Next Avengers_ "Dude, you can't start a slow clap at any time and expect everyone to join in." _Not Another Teen Movie_ "Sure, why not? I am the token black guy. I'm just supposed to smile and stay out of the conversation and say things like: 'Damn,' 'Shit,' and 'That is whack.'" -Malik, _Not Another Teen Movie_ "No, not Janey Briggs. She's got glasses. And a ponytail. Ugh, she's got paint on her overalls. What is that?" -Jake, _Not Another Teen Movie_ "You shall see thangs, wonderful to tell. You shall see a... a cow... on the roof of a cotton house, ha. And, oh, so many startlements. I cannot tell you how long this road shall be, but fear not the obstacles in your path, for fate has vouchsafed your reward." _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_ Pete: You stole from my kin! Everett: Who was fixin' to betray us. Pete: You didn't know that at the time. Everett: So I borrowed it until I did know. Pete: That don't make no sense! Everett: Pete, it's a fool that looks for logic in the chambers of the human heart. _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_ Tommy: I had to be up at that there crossroads last midnight, to sell my soul to the devil. Everett: Well, ain't it a small world, spiritually speaking. Pete and Delmar just been baptized and saved. I guess I'm the only one that remains unaffiliated. _O Brother, Where Art Thou_ Junior O'Daniel: We could hire our own midget, even shorter than his. Pappy O'Daniel: Wouldn't we look like a bunch of Johnny-come-latelies, bragging on our own midget, doesn't matter how stumpy. _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_ "A lot of respectable people have been hit by trains." -Penny, _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_ Delmar: But they was witnesses that seen us redeemed. Everett: That's not the issue Delmar. Even if that did put you square with the Lord, the State of Mississippi's a little more hard-nosed. _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_ "I'll tell you what I am - I'm the damn paterfamilias!" -Everett, _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_ "It does put me in a damn awkward position, vis-a-vis my progeny." -Everett, _O Brother, Where Art Thou?_ "It will be nice working with proper villains again!" -Basher, _Ocean's 11_ "I'm gonna get out of the car and drop you like third period French." -Turk Malloy, _Ocean's 11_ Rusty: You scared? Linus: You suicidal? Rusty: Only in the morning. _Ocean's 11_ "Ted Nugent just called. He wants his shirt back." -Danny Ocean, _Ocean's 11_ Rusty: Why do this? Danny: Why not do it? [Rusty shakes his head] Danny: Cause yesterday I walked out of the joint after losing four years of my life and you're cold-decking teen beat cover boys. [pause] Cause the house always wins. Play long enough, you never change the stakes. The house takes you. Unless, when that perfect hand comes along, you bet big, then you take the house. Rusty: Been practicing this speech, haven't you? Danny: Little bit. Did I rush it? Felt I rushed it. Rusty: No, it was good, I liked it. _Ocean's 11_ Danny: And I always confuse Monet and Manet. Now which one married his mistress? Tess: Monet. Danny: Right, and then Manet had syphilis. Tess: They also painted occasionally. _Ocean's 11_ Peter: What if we're still doin' this when we're 50? Samir: It would be nice to have that kind of job security. _Office Space_ Samir: No, not again. I... why does it say paper jam when there is no paper jam? I swear to God, one of these days, I just kick this piece of shit out the window. Michael: You and me both, man. That thing is lucky I'm not armed. _Office Space_ Peter: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life. Dr. Swanson: What about today? Is today the worst day of your life? Peter: Yeah. Dr. Swanson: Wow, that's messed up. _Office Space_ "When I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. My only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired." -Peter, _Office Space_ Peter: ...and, uh, it doesn't really matter. I uh, I don't like my job, and, uh, I don't think I'm gonna go anymore. Joanna: You're just not gonna go? Peter: Yeah. Joanna: Won't you get fired? Peter: I don't know, but I really don't like it, and, uh, I'm not gonna go. Joanna: So you're gonna quit? Peter: Nah-uh. Not really. Uh... I'm just gonna stop going. Joanna: When did you decide all that? Peter: About an hour ago. Joanna: An hour ago... so you're gonna get another job? Peter: I don't think I'd like another job. Joanna: Well, what are you going to do about money and bills and... Peter: You know, I've never really liked paying bills. I don't think I'm gonna do that, either. _Office Space_ "'PC Load Letter'!? What the fuck does that mean!?" _Office Space_ Bob: Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately. Peter: Well, I wouldn't exactly say I've been *missing* it, Bob. _Office Space_ "It's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care." -Peter, _Office Space_ Spanish: Damn, I don't wanna end up workin' at Red Lobster. frat brother: You already work at Red Lobster. Spanish: Yea, well it's part time... dick. _Old School_ "Well why don't you give me your number in case anything happens to my wife." -Beanie, _Old School_ "You think I like avoiding my wife and kids to hangout with nineteen year old girls everyday?" -Beanie, _Old School_ Dae-su Oh: Who the hell are you? Woo-jin Lee: Me? I'm a sort of scholar. And my major is you. _Oldboy_ "You see, they say that people shrivel up because they have an imagination. So, don't imagine anything, you'll become brave as hell." -Mr. Park, _Oldboy_ "And now... now, what joy will I have left to live for?" -Woo-jin Lee, _Oldboy_ "You don't understand! I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I could've been somebody, instead of a bum, which is what I am." _On the Waterfront_ "He doesn't like you: you're mean and rotten and evil. He likes *me*, because I'm good and sweet and innocent... so FUCK OFF!" _Once Bitten_ "This story is well-traveled. It might have picked up some embellishments along the way. Just read between the lines." -Belini, _Once Upon a Time in Mexico_ "Are you a Mexi-CAN or a Mexi-CAN'T?" -Sands, _Once Upon a Time in Mexico_ El Mariachi: You want me to shoot the cook? Agent Sands: No. I'll shoot the cook. My car's parked out back, anyway. _Once Upon a Time in Mexico_ "Wanna know the secret to winning? Creative sportsmanship. In other words, one has to rig the game." -Sands, _Once Upon a Time in Mexico_ Snaky: ...looks like we're shy one horse. Harmonica: You brought two too many. _Once Upon a Time in the West_ Morton: Not bad. Congratulations. Tell me, was it necessary that you kill all of them? I only told you to scare them. Frank: People scare better when they're dying. _Once Upon a Time in the West_ "How can you trust a man who wears both a belt and suspenders? The man can't even trust his own pants." -Frank, _Once Upon a Time in the West_ "My weapons might look simple to you, Mr. Morton, but they can still shoot holes big enough for our little problems." -Frank, _Once Upon a Time in the West_ "No, this is not a love story, but it is a story about love. About those who give in into it, and the price they pay. And those who run away from it, because they are afraid, or because they do not believe they're worthy of it. She ran away. He gave in." _Original Sin_ Luis: Julia, I just killed a man! Julia: I just bought a hat. _Original Sin_ Julia: Get this man a doctor! security guard: What about him? Julia: [fires gun] He's dead. _Original Sin_ "She's lived for 400 years and hardly aged a day; but, because this is England, everyone pretends not to notice." _Orlando_ Snaps: You took my daughter to a speakeasy!? Anthony: It's a very respectable speakeasy, sir. _Oscar_ "If it's Poole you want, it's Poole you'll get. But you've *got* to cross the finish line on this one! This is your third fiance today and it ain't even lunch yet!" -Snaps, _Oscar_ "Of course I knew. I just had no idea!" -Snaps, _Oscar_ Snaps: Connie! Am-scray! Connie: Do I have to, Boss? Every time I leave I fall behind. _Oscar_ "Always be grateful for what you get. Rule number one." _Payback_ Stegman: They'll kill me. Porter: What do you think I'm going to do? Worry about me. _Payback_ "Lot 666 then, ladies and gentlemen: a chandelier, in pieces. Some of you may recall the strange affair of the Phantom of the Opera, a mystery never fully explained." _The Phantom of the Opera_ "There is no phantom of the opera." -Raoul, _The Phantom of the Opera_ "...and then they made me their chief." -Captain Jack Sparrow, _Pirates of the Caribbean_ "I never wanted to use macrame to kill!" -Lu-Lu, _Polyester_ The Postman: It takes one postman to make someone else a postman. Ford: Sorta like vampires, huh? _The Postman_ "She says the jungle... it just came alive and took him." _Predator_ "This stuff will make you a god damned sexual Tyrannosaurus, just like me!" -Blain, _Predator_ Poncho: You're bleeding, man! Blain: I ain't got time to bleed! _Predator_ "If it bleeds, we can kill it." -Dutch, _Predator_ "They say you want to talk to me. They say you are offering me favours." -King Willie, _Predator 2_ "What's worse, thinking you're being paranoid or knowing you should be?" -Aaron, _Primer_ "We are men of action, lies do not become us." -Westley, _The Princess Bride_ Westley: Oh, there's something I ought to tell you. Inigo Montoya: Tell me. Westley: I'm not left-handed either. _The Princess Bride_ Prince Humperdinck: Tyrone, you know how much I love watching you work. But I've got my country's 500th anniversary to plan, my wedding to arrange, my wife to murder, and Guilder to frame for it. I'm swamped! Count Rugen: Get some rest. If you haven't got your health, you haven't got anything. _The Princess Bride_ Prince Humperdinck: Surrender! Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept. _The Princess Bride_ Inigo: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you. Westley: You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die. _The Princess Bride_ "Let me 'splain. [pause] No, there is too much. Let me sum up." -Inigo Montoya, _The Princess Bride_ "Study your math, kids. Key to the Universe." -Gabriel, _The Prophecy_ Simon: Do you believe that you are a part of God's plan? Thomas Daggett: That's a complicated question. Simon: No it isn't. _The Prophecy_ "I'm an angel. I kill newborns while their mamas watch. I turn cities into salt. And occasionally, when I feel like it, I tear little girls apart. And from now till kingdom come... the only thing you can count on... in your existence... is never understanding why." -Gabriel, _The Prophecy_ "Sometimes, you just have to _do_ what you're _told._" -Simon, _The Prophecy_ "I'll burn down Heaven to stop it." -Gabriel, _The Prophecy_ [Jules shoots the guy on the couch during Brett's interrogation] Jules: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? _Pulp Fiction_ Jules: What country are you from? Brett: What? Jules: I never heard of What. They speak English in What? _Pulp Fiction_ "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee." -Jules, _Pulp Fiction_ "I'm Winston Wolf. I solve problems." _Pulp Fiction_ "I'm prepared to scour the the Earth for that motherfucker. If Butch goes to Indochina, I want a nigger waiting in a bowl of rice ready to pop a cap in his ass." -Marsellus, _Pulp Fiction_ "If I'm curt with you, it's because time is a factor. I think fast, I talk fast, and I need you guys to act fast if you want to get out of this. So pretty please, with sugar on top, clean the fuckin' car." -Winston Wolf, _Pulp Fiction_ Butch: You okay? Marsellus: Naw man. I'm pretty fuckin' far from okay! Butch: What now? Marsellus: What now? Well let me tell you what now. I'm gonna call a couple of pipe-hittin' niggers, who'll go to work on homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. Hear me talkin' hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'm gonna get medieval on your ass. _Pulp Fiction_ Jules: Nobody's gonna hurt anybody. We're gonna be like three little Fonzies here. And what's Fonzie like? Come on Yolanda what's Fonzie like?! Yolanda: Cool? Jules: What? Yolanda: He's cool. _Pulp Fiction_ Jules: Hand me my wallet. Pumpkin: Which one is it? Jules: It's the one with "bad motherfucker" written on it. _Pulp Fiction_ "I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, it meant your ass. I never really questioned what it meant. I thought it was just a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before you popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. Now I'm thinkin': it could mean you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here, he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could be you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo. I'm tryin' real hard to be a shepherd." -Jules, _Pulp Fiction_ "Feeling screwed up at a screwed up time in a screwed up place does not necessarily make you screwed up." _Pump Up the Volume_ "I'm sick of being ashamed. I don't mind being dejected and rejected, but I'm not going to be ashamed about it. At least pain is real. I mean, you look around and you see nothing is real, but at least the pain is real." _Pump Up the Volume_ "I'm dedicating this unusual song to an unusual person who makes me feel kind of... unusual." _Pump Up the Volume_ "We're all worried, we're all in pain. That just comes with having eyes and having ears. But just remember one thing - it can't get any worse, it can only get better. High school is the bottom, being a teenager sucks, but that's the point, surviving it is the whole point. Quitting is not going to make you stronger, living will." _Pump Up the Volume_ "They think you're moody, make 'em think you're crazy. Make 'em think you might snap. They say you got attitude, you show 'em some real attitude." _Pump Up the Volume_ "Understand this: nothing on this earth frightens me anymore. Nothing." -Herod, _The Quick and the Dead_ "If someone would try to walk on water and drowned, would they blame God?" -the Marquis de Sade, _Quills_ "In order to know virtue, we must acquaint ourselves with vice. Only then can we know the true measure of a man." -the Marquis de Sade, _Quills_ "You're not the anti-Christ. You're only a malcontent who knows how to spell." -the Abbe du Coulmier, _Quills_ "Why should I love God? He strung up his only son like a side of veal. I shudder to think what he'd do to me." -the Marquis de Sade, _Quills_ "I asked myself, 'why would he do this, he knows I'll come after him?' Then it occured to me. He knows I'll come after him." -Dick Goodwin, _Quiz Show_ "I've stood on the shoulders of life and I've never gotten down into the dirt to build, to erect a foundation of my own. I've flown too high on borrowed wings. Everything came too easy." -Charles Van Doren, _Quiz Show_
Page by: Paul M. M. Jacobus (paul@otd.com)
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