Quote-o-rama:
The Big Movie File: K-M
Inspector Grubach: Kafka. Kafka, Kafka. Is that your real name? Kafka: Yes. Why shouldn't it be? _Kafka_ "We are all guilty of one thing or another." _Kafka_ "A crowd is easier to control than an individual. A crowd has a common purpose. The purpose of the individual is always in question." -Dr. Murnau, _Kafka_ "First physiology, then ideology." _Kafka_ "I've tried to write nightmares and you've built one." _Kafka_ "I know a gentleman who looks like you. In fact he looks more like you than you do yourself." -Chief Clerk, _Kafka_ Kafka: But you'll never, never reach a man's soul through a lens. Doctor Murnau: That rather depends on which end of the microscope you're on, doesn't it? _Kafka_ "I can no longer deny I am part of the world around me." _Kafka_ "As it turns out, this is hard." Charlie, _Kangaroo Jack_ [after meeting Arthur.] "Finally, a man worth killing." -Cerdic, _King Arthur_ "My name is no jest, beanpole. It's all very well to have a short name when you're twenty feet tall, but small people need large names to give them weight." -Ergo the Magnificent, _Krull_ "By this axe, I rule!" -Kull the Conqueror Shifu: You. Are. Free. To. Eat. Po: *Am* I? Shifu: *Are* you? _Kung Fu Panda_ "I admire you as a policeman, particularly your adherence to violence as a necessary adjunct to the job." -Captain Dudley Smith, _L.A. Confidential_ "Go back to Jersey, sonny. This is the City of the Angels and you haven't got any wings." -Captain Dudley Smith, _L.A. Confidential_ Ed Exley: Why did you become a cop? Jack Vincennes: I don't remember. _L.A. Confidential_ Ellis Loew: Pull him off me, Exley! Ed Exley: I don't know how. _L.A. Confidential_ "Hold up your badge, so they'll know you're a policeman." -Captain Dudley Smith, _L.A. Confidential_ Sarah: That's not fair! Jareth: You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is? _Labyrinth_ Sarah: What exactly have you sworn? Didymus: I have taken an oath that no one may cross this bridge without my permission. Sarah: Well... May we have your permission? Didymus: Well I, uh... I... that is, uh... hm... yes? _Labyrinth_ "I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave." -Jareth, _Labyrinth_ "Everything I've done, I've done for you. I move the stars for no one." -Jareth, _Labyrinth_ "I have no honor, I never will; I do not think you'll kill me for what I am." _Ladyhawke_ "You, madam, are addressing a man, who is in fact quiet... and yet, not quiet, if I may offer to you a riddle." -Professor Dorr, _The Ladykillers_ Waitress: Have you all decided? Professor Dorr: Madam, We must have waffles! We must all have waffles forthwith! We must think, and we must all have waffles, and think each and everyone of us to the best of his ability... _The Ladykillers_ "The old woman is a more formidable antagonist than one had imagined." -Professor Dorr, _The Ladykillers_ Sheriff Keough: Naw, I got nothin' against museums. Kelly: Ever been in one? _Lake Placid_ Jack: Hmm. Never been to Maine before, huh? Kelly: Oh, I have good hygiene, I'm not welcome. _Lake Placid_ [Kelly slaps Keough] Sheriff Keough: Quit hitting me! Kelly: Stop throwing heads at me! _Lake Placid_ Sheriff Keough: I never heard of a crocodile crossing an ocean. Hector: Well, they conceal information like that in books. _Lake Placid_ "I will NOT calm down! This is the second time I've been hit with a severed head and I DON'T LIKE IT!" -Kelly, _Lake Placid_ Sheriff Keough: I brought a pork chop for luck. Maybe you could hang it around your neck. Hector Cyr: That's sweet. Maybe later you can chew the bark off my big fat log. _Lake Placid_ Sheriff Keough: Crocodiles can't swim in salt water. Hector: Yeah, well, that'll be your little secret. _Lake Placid_ [To a game warden] "I'm a civilian, not a trout - you have no authority over me whatsoever." -Hector, _Lake Placid_ "Greetings Starfighter. You have been recruited by the Star League to defend the frontier from Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada." _The Last Starfighter_ "Never run from anything immortal, it attracts their attention." _The Last Unicorn_ "No cat out of its first fur was ever deceived by appearances, unlike human beings, who seem to enjoy it." _The Last Unicorn_ "Love is slowing you down, my lady. I will catch you at last, if you love much more." _The Last Unicorn_ "There are no happy endings because nothing ends." _The Last Unicorn_ "Your name is a golden bell hung in my heart. I would break my body to pieces to call you once by your name." _The Last Unicorn_ "That's what heroes are for." _The Last Unicorn_ "Don't cry. If you have become human enough to cry, then all the magic in the world cannot change you back." -Schmendrick, _The Last Unicorn_ "No cat anywhere ever gave anyone a straight answer." _The Last Unicorn_ "My secrets guard themselves." -The Red Bull, _The Last Unicorn_ General Allenby: I'm promoting you to Major. T. E. Lawrence: I don't think that's a very good idea. _Lawrence of Arabia_ "Always remember that one day all this drug monkey business will be legal. They won't leave it to people like me... not when they finally figure out how much money is to be made - not millions, fucking billions. Recreational drugs PLC - giving the people what they want... Good times today, Stupor tomorrow. But this is now, so until prohibition ends make hay whilst the sun shines." _Layer Cake_ mercenary: What are you? Dorian Gray: I'm complicated. _The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_ Hyde: Yes, Henry. Look, but don't touch. That's your way. Dr. Jekyll: Just shut up. I won't be tricked again. Hyde: Tricked? You've known what I was about each time you drank the formula. _The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_ Dorian Gray: Empires crumble. There are no exceptions. M: You think you're better than me. You forget. I've seen your painting. _The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_ "They used to call me Crazy Joe. Well now they can call me Batman!" -Joe Clark, _Lean on Me_ "The Lord said, do whatever you have to do. And he didn't say 'Joe, be polite.'" -Joe Clark, _Lean on Me__ [After refusing admittance to the Fire Chief] "You know what he's saying right now? 'Black bastard can't throw me out!' You know where he's saying it? Out in the parking lot." -Joe Clark, _Lean on Me_ "Discipline is not the enemy of enthusiasm." -Joe Clark, _Lean on Me_ "I don't have to do nothin' but stay black and die!" -Joe Clark, _Lean on Me_ "This is the story of the three Baudelaire children. Violet loved to invent; her brother, Klaus, loved to read; and their sister, Sunny... she loved to bite. My name is Lemony Snicket and it is my duty to tell you their tale. No one knows the precise cause of the Baudelaire fire, but just like that, the Baudelaire children became the Baudelaire orphans." _Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events_ "This would be an excellent time to walk out of the theater, living room, or airplane where this film is being shown." -The Narrator, _Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events_ Count Olaf: I must say, you are a gloomy-looking bunch. Why so glum? Klaus: Our parents just died. _Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events_ "I'm sorry, I don't speak *monkey*." -Count Olaf, _Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events_ "Children are strange and foreign to me. I never really was one. I do know that they are an important part of the ecosystem." -Stefano, _Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events_ "At times the world can seem an unfriendly and sinister place. But believe us when we say there is much more good in it than bad. And what might seem to be a series of unfortunate events, may in fact, be the first steps of a journey." -Violet, _Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events_ "Aloha, gerbilboy." _Leroy & Stitch_ "I'm going to go on an overnight drunk, and in 10 days I'm going to set out to find the shark that ate my friend and destroy it." _The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou_ "Don't be nice to Ali, he's my nemesis." _The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou_ Antonia: You must be so excited. Steve: I hope so. You think it went OK? Antonia: No. Congratulations. Seriously. Steve: Thanks. I wish it didn't require the "seriously," but thank you. _The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou_ "The sky is pocked with stars. What eyes the wise men must have had to see one more among so many." -King Henry II, _The Lion in Winter_ "Kings, queens, knights everywhere you look and I'm the only pawn. I haven't got a thing to lose -- that makes me dangerous." -Alais, _The Lion in Winter_ Simba: You're so weird. Scar: You have _no_ idea. _The Lion King_ "I'm only brave when I have to be." -Mufasa, _The Lion King_ Mufasa: Simba, let me tell you something my father told me. Look at the stars, the great kings of the past are up there, watching over us. Young Simba: Really? Mufasa: Yes. So whenever you feel alone just remember that those kings will always be there to guide you and so will I. _The Lion King_ [Simba looks into a pool of water.] Simba: That's not my father, that's just my reflection Rafiki: No, look harder. [Simba's reflection changes to that of his father.] Rafiki: You see? He lives in you! Mufasa's ghost: Simba. Simba: Father?! Mufasa's ghost: Simba, you have forgotten me. Simba: No! How could I? Mufasa's ghost: You have forgotten who you are and so have forgotten me. Look inside yourself Simba. You are more than what you have become. You must take your place in the circle of life. Simba: How can I go back!? I'm not who I used be! Mufasa's ghost: Remember who you are. You are my son and the one true king. Remember... _The Lion King_ Young Simba: I know what I have to do. But going back will mean facing my past. I've been running from it for so long. [Rafiki hits Simba on the head with his stick] Young Simba: Oww! Jeez... What was that for? Rafiki: It doesn't matter, it's in the past. Young Simba: Yeah, but it still hurts. Rafiki: Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it, or learn from it. [swings his stick at Simba again who ducks out of the way] _The Lion King_ Nala: He was but now I can't find him. Where is he? Rafiki: You won't find him here! The King has returned. _The Lion King_ "Mother of mercy, is this the end of Rico?" _Little Caesar_ Matt Farrell: You just killed a helicopter with a car! John McClane: A hundred thousand people die from car accidents every year. That was just, like, four more. _Live Free Or Die Hard_ "I don't want to know who you use, as long as they're not complete muppets." -Hatchet Harry, _Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels_ "It's been emotional." -Big Chris, _Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels_ "There's no money, there's no weed. It's all been replaced by a pile of corpses." -Tom, _Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels_ "You know, back when we first met, you were all like 'Oh phooey, I burned the darn muffins.' Now, you go into a bar and ten minutes later sailors come runnin' up. What up with that?" -Mitch, _The Long Kiss Goodnight_ Charly: Easy, sport. I got myself out of Beirut once, I think I can get out of New Jersey. Mitch: Yeah, well don't be so sure. Others have tried and failed. The entire population, in fact. _The Long Kiss Goodnight_ "I know what I must do. It's just... I'm afraid to do it." -Frodo, _Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring_ Aragorn: Take some rest. These borders are well protected. Boromir: I will find no rest here. I heard her voice inside my head. She spoke of my father and the fall of Gondor. She said to me, even now, there is hope left, but I cannot see it. It is long since we had any hope. My father is a noble man, but his rule is failing, and our people lose faith. He looks to me to make things right and I would do it. I would see the glory of Gondor restored. Have you ever seen it, Aragorn? The White Tower of Ecthelion, glimmering like a spike of pearl and silver, its banners caught high in the morning breeze. Have you ever been called home by the clear ringing of silver trumpets? Aragorn: I have seen the White City, long ago. Boromir: One day, our paths will lead us there and the tower guard will take up the call: The Lords of Gondor have returned. _Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring_ "Sleep all day. Party all night. Never grow old. Never die." _Lost Boys_ one-sheet Sam: Got a problem, guys? Edgar Frog: Just scoping your civilian wardrobe. Sam: Pretty cool, huh? Alan Frog: For a fashion victim. _The Lost Boys_ Alan Frog: There's our number on the back. And pray you never need to call us. Sam: I'll pray I never need to call you. _The Lost Boys_ Edgar Frog: We've been aware there's some very serious vampire activity in this town for some time. Alan Frog: Santa Carla's become a haven for the undead. Edgar Frog: As a matter of fact, we're almost certain ghouls and werewolves occupy high positions at city hall. _The Lost Boys_ "Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?" -David, _The Lost Boys_ "What, you don't like rice? Tell me Michael, how could a billion Chinese people be wrong?" -David, _The Lost Boys_ Bob: Can you keep a secret? I'm trying to organize a prison break. We have to first get out of this bar, then the city, and then the country. Are you in or you out? Charlotte: I'm in. _Lost in Translation_ Charlotte: I just don't know what I'm supposed to be. Bob: You'll figure that out. The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you. _Lost in Translation_ John: So, what do you reckon to our new Prime Minister, then? Judy: I like him. Can't understand why he's not married, though. John: Oh, you know the type. Married to his job. Either that or gay as a picnic basket. _Love, Actually_ "The only thing about romance is that people only get together right at the very end." -Sam, _Love, Actually_ Karen: You are a lobster in the nativity play? Daisy: First lobster. Karen: There was more than one lobster present at the birth of Jesus? _Love, Actually_ "Would you stay, knowing that life would be a bit worse?" -Karen, _Love, Actually_ [The worst jive ever.] "It's Thanksgiving time, turkey!" _Love at First Bite_ "Jude explained it wasn't an act of cruelty, it was an act of discipline. When I pulled those wings off I knew he was right. He showed me you could gain strength through violence and with power and control you could do anything." _Love, Honour and Obey_ Stevie: Are you okay? Trevor: Don't I look okay? _The Machinist_ "A little guilt goes a long way." -Trevor, _The Machinist_ "I know who you are. I know who you are. I know who you are." _The Machinist_ "Well, ain't we a pair, raggedy man." -Aunty, _Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome_ Max: Thunderdome. How do I get in there? Aunty: That's easy. Pick a fight. _Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome_ "Right now, I've got two men, two men with a gut full of fear. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls... dyin' times here!" -Dr. Dealgood, _Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome_ Skipper: Hey, quadruped. Sprechen sie Englisch? Marty: I sprechen. Skipper: What continent is this? Marty: Manhattan. Skipper: Hoover Dam! We're still in New York! Dive! Dive! Dive! _Madagascar_ Marty: The penguins are going, so why can't I? Alex: Marty, the penguins are *psychotic.* _Madagascar_ "They are so cute from a reasonable distance." -Melman, _Madagascar_ "They're just a bunch of pansies. Let's go meet the pansies!" -King Julian, _Madagascar_ Maurice: Just where are you giants from? Alex: We're from New York - [interrupting, addressing the crowd] Julian: All hail the New York Giants! _Madagascar_ "That's the second biggest slingshot I've ever seen, but I guess it'll have to do." -Skipper, _Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa_ "Gently now, you just wanna kiss the ground, just a little peck, a smooch, like you're kissing your sister." -Skipper, _Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa_ Gloria: Julian, stop this! This is crazy! King Julien: Oh, suddenly throwing a giraffe into a volcano to make water is crazy! _Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa_ "You are surrounded by beauty, by intrigue, by danger, what more can a man want?" -Aramis, _The Man In The Iron Mask_ Athos: What gives you the right to judge me, to play God with the lives of others? Is it because you're so much holier than anyone else? Aramis: Well yes, also because I'm more intelligent than anyone else. _The Man In The Iron Mask_ "I must possess all, or I possess nothing." -Skeletor, _Masters of the Universe_ "Men who crave power look back on the mistakes they've made in their past, put all them together in a pile and call it... destiny." -Sorceress, _Masters of the Universe_ "You have a problem with authority, Mr. Anderson." -Rhineheart, _The Matrix_ Trinity: Please just listen. I know why you're here, Neo. I know what you've been doing... why you hardly sleep, why you live alone, and why night after night, you sit by your computer. You're looking for him. I know because I was once looking for the same thing. And when he found me, he told me I wasn't really looking for him. I was looking for an answer. It's the question that drives us. It's the question that brought you here. You know the question, just as I did. Neo: What is the Matrix? Trinity: The answer is out there, Neo, and it's looking for you, and it will find you if you want it to. _The Matrix_ "It seems that you've been living two lives. One life, you're Thomas A. Anderson, program writer for a respectable software company. You have a social security number, pay your taxes, and you... help your landlady carry out her garbage. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias 'Neo' and are guilty of virtually every computer crime we have a law for. One of these lives has a future, and one of them does not." -Agent Smith, _The Matrix_ "What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad." -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "You have the look of a man who accepts what he sees because he is expecting to wake up. Ironically, that's not far from the truth." -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "The Matrix is the world that has been pulled over your eyes to blind you from the truth." -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is. You have to see it for yourself." -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "I'm trying to free your mind, Neo. But I can only show you the door. You're the one that has to walk through it." _The Matrix_ "Have you ever had a dream, Neo, that you were so sure was real? What if you were unable to wake from that dream? How would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?" -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ Neo: Why do my eyes hurt? Morpheus: You've never used them before. _The Matrix_ "Throughout human history, we have been dependent on machines to survive. Fate, it seems, is not without a sense of irony." -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "You think that's air you're breathing?" -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "What are you waiting for? You're faster than this." -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "Stop trying to hit me and hit me!" -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ Neo: What are you trying to tell me? That I can dodge bullets? Morpheus: No, Neo. I'm trying to tell you that when you're ready, you won't have to. _The Matrix_ "There is a difference between knowing the path and walking the path." -Morpheus, _The Matrix_ "To deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human." -Mouse, _The Matrix_ Spoon boy: Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth. Neo: What truth? Spoon boy: There is no spoon. Neo: There is no spoon? Spoon boy: Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. _The Matrix_ Oracle: I'd ask you to sit down, but, you're not going to anyway. And don't worry about the vase. Neo: What vase? [Neo turns to look for a vase, and as he does, he knocks over a vase of flowers, which shatters on the floor.] Oracle: That vase. Neo: I'm sorry - Oracle: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it. Neo: How did you know? Oracle: Ohh, what's really going to bake your noodle later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said anything? _The Matrix_ Tank: So what do you need? Besides a miracle. Neo: Guns. Lots of guns. _The Matrix_ "I'd like to share a revelation that I've had, during my time here. It came to me when I tried to classify your species. I realized that you're not actually mammals. Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment, but you humans do not. You move to an area, and you multiply, and multiply, until every natural resource is consumed. The only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet, you are a plague, and we are the cure." -Agent Smith, _The Matrix_ Trinity: Neo... nobody has ever done this before. Neo: I know. That's why it's going to work. _The Matrix_ "Do you hear that, Mr. Anderson? That is the sound of inevitability." -Agent Smith, _The Matrix_ "I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid... afraid of us. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you how this is going to end. I came here to tell how it's going to begin. I'm going to hang up this phone, and then show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them a world without you. A world without rules or controls, borders or boundaries. A world where anything is possible. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to you." _The Matrix_ "I believe it is our fate to be here. It IS our destiny. I believe this night holds, for each and every one of us, the very meaning of our lives. This IS a war and we ARE soldiers. What if tomorrow the war could be over? Isn't that worth fighting for? Isn't that worth DYING for?" -Morpheus, _The Matrix Reloaded_ Agent Smith: I'm just like you. I want everything! Morpheus: [pointing his gun at Smith's head] Would that include a bullet from this gun? _The Matrix Reloaded_ "Everything that has a beginning has an end. I see the end coming, I see the darkness spreading. I see death... And you are all that stands in his way. If you cannot stop him tonight, then I fear tomorrow will never come." -The Oracle, _The Matrix Revolutions_ "The program Smith has grown out of your control. You can't stop him... But I can." -Neo, _The Matrix Revolutions_ "I'm just not sure how well this plan was thought through." _Meet the Robinsons_ "Now, to lure him out of the house... I know! I'll blow it up! Yes! Yes, and... uh... no... no. That won't work. Then he'll be dead. Oh, I know! I'll turn him into a duck! Yes, it's so evil! Oh... I don't know how to do that... and I don't really need a duck... this may be harder than I thought." -Bowler Hat Guy, _Meet the Robinsons_ "It's been a long, hard day, full of emotional turmoil and dinosaur fights." -Wilbur, _Meet the Robinsons_ "I always thought the joy of reading a book is not knowing what happens next." _Memento_ "She's gone and the past is trivia that I scribble on these fucking notes." _Memento_ "How can I remember to forget you?" _Memento_ "A story like mine should never be told. For my world is as forbidden as it is fragile. Without its mysteries it cannot survive." _Memoirs of a Geisha_ "At the temple, there is a poem called 'Lost' carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read loss, only feel it." _Memoirs of a Geisha_ "The heart dies a slow death, shedding each hope like leaves. Until one day there are none." _Memoirs of a Geisha_ Kay: WE DO NOT DISCHARGE OUR WEAPONS IN VIEW OF THE PUBLIC! Jay: We don't got time for this cover-up bullshit... Look, i don't know if you forgot but there's an Arquillean Battle--- Kay: There's always an Arquillian Battle Cruiser, or a Korilian Death Ray, or an intergalactic plague that is about to wipe out life on this miserable planet. The only way these people get on with their happy lives is they do not KNOW ABOUT IT. _Men in Black_ "There was abuse in my family, but it was mostly musical in nature." -Terry Bohner, _A Mighty Wind_ "I learned to play the ukulele in one of my last films, "Not So Tiny Tim.'" -Laurie Bohner, _A Mighty Wind_ "To do then now would be retro. To do then then was very now-tro, if you will." -Mark, _A Mighty Wind_ "I feel ready for whatever the experience is that we will... take with us after the show. I'm sure it will be... an adventure... a voyage on this... magnificent vessel... into unchartered waters! What if we see sailfish... jumping... and flying across the magnificent orb of a setting sun?" -Mitch, _A Mighty Wind_ Jerry: We don't want people to reach for their remotes here. Mark: It's public television. Alan: They don't have remotes. _A Mighty Wind_ "To make a fighter you gotta strip them down to bare wood: you can't just tell 'em to forget everything you know if you gotta make 'em forget even their bones... make 'em so tired they only listen to you, only hear your voice, only do what you say and nothing else... show 'em how to keep their balance and take it away from the other guy... how to generate momentum off their right toe and how to flex your knees when you fire a jab... how to fly back and up so that the other guy doesn't want to come after you. Then you gotta show 'em all over again. Over and over and over... 'till they think they're born that way." _Million Dollar Baby_ Helena: Riddle? Riddle! So have you thought of an answer yet? Sphinx: You can't pass. I give up. I think. No, wait, wait... Fine. What's the answer? Helena: Okay. It's a herring. Sphinx: But a herring isn't green! Helena: You can paint it green. Sphinx: But a herring doesn't hang on a wall! Helena: You can nail it to a wall. Sphinx: But a herring doesn't whistle! Helena: Oh, come on. I just put that in to stop it from being too obvious. _MirrorMask_ Valentine: You're hurt! Wait here. Helena: What about you? Valentine: Oh, I'm a panther. I shall slip unnoticed through the darkness... like a dark, unnoticeable slippy thing. _MirrorMask_ "If you want to play with the Devil, that's fine with me. I just want to make sure you do it in Hell." -Kittridge, _Mission: Impossible_ Roz: Hello, Wazowski. Fun-filled evening planned for tonight? Mike: Well, as a matter of fact... Roz: Then I'm sure you filed your paperwork correctly, for once. [Pause.] Roz: Your stunned silence is very reassuring. _Monsters, Inc._ Waternoose: Ah, James. Is this one yours? Sulley: Ah, actually that's my uh, cousin's sister's daughter, sir. Mike: Yeah, it's uh, "Bring an Obscure Relative to Work Day". Waternoose: Hmm, must have missed the memo. _Monsters, Inc._ "Aw, poor guy. I understand. It's not easy being banished. Take my buddy Bigfoot. When he was banished he fashioned an enormous diaper out of poison ivy. Wore it on his head like a tiara. Called himself 'King Itchy'." -The Abominable Snowman, _Monsters, Inc._ Randall: Where is it, you little one-eyed cretin? Mike: Okay, first of all, it's "cree-tin". If you're going to threaten me, do it properly. Second of all, you're nuts if you think kidnapping ME is going to help YOU cheat your way to the top. Randall: [chuckles evilly] You still think this is about that stupid scare record? Mike: Well, I did. Right up until you... chuckled... like that. And now I'm thinking I should just get out of here. _Monsters, Inc._ "I'm sorry, Wazowski, but Randall said I'm not allowed to fraternize with victims of his evil plot." -Fungus, _Monsters, Inc._ Johnny Cage: You know, you gotta admire her. When she sets her mind on something - Liu Kang: It's not her mind you're admiring. Johnny Cage: It's true. _Mortal Kombat_ "...When suddenly an unconscious Argentinean fell through my ceiling! He was then joined by a dwarf dressed as a nun..." _Moulin Rouge_ Toulouse-Lautrec: Things aren't always as they seem. Christian: Things are exactly the way they seem. _Moulin Rouge_ "Christian, you may see me only as a drunken, vice-ridden gnome whose friends are just pimps and girls from the brothels. But I know about art and love, if only because I long for it with every fiber of my being." -Toulouse-Lautrec, _Moulin Rouge_ "We're creatures of the underworld. We can't afford to love." -Zidler, _Moulin Rouge_ Mrs. Henderson: You're Jewish. Van Damm: No. Mrs. Henderson: Of course you are, just look at yourself! _Mrs Henderson Presents_ Mrs. Henderson: Do you find these women attractive? Bertie: Some of them are very pretty. Mrs. Henderson: Oh yes, I can certainly see that, but do they intrigue you as a man? Bertie: Ah. I have... other inclinations. Mrs. Henderson: Oh. Oh! How delicious! _Mrs Henderson Presents_ "I have learned in many years of dealing with artists to detest creativity." -Lord Cromer, _Mrs Henderson Presents_ "There's a man, in back of this place. He's the one who's doing it. I can see him through the wall. I can see his face. I hope that I will never see that face ever outside of a dream." -Dan, _Mulholland Dr._ Cowboy: A man's attitude... a man's attitude goes some ways toward how a man's life will be. Is that somethin' you agree with? Adam Kesher: Sure. Cowboy: Now... did you answer cause you thought that's what I wanted to hear or did you think about what I said and answer cause you truly believe that to be right? _Mulholland Dr._ Cowboy: Well, just stop for a little second and think about it. Will ya do that for me? Adam Kesher: Okay, I'm thinking. Cowboy: No. You're too busy being a smart aleck to be thinkin'. Now I want ya to think and quit bein' such a smart aleck. Can ya do that for me? _Mulholland Dr._ "Now, you will see me one more time if you do good. You'll see me two more times if you do bad. Goodnight." -the Cowboy, _Mulholland Dr._ "Some people die before their time so that others can live. It's a cornerstone of civilization." _Mulholland Falls_ "I only gamble with my life, never my money." -Rick, _The Mummy_ [After a shipwreck.] Beni: Hey, O'Connell! Looks to me like I've got all the horses! Rick: Hey, Beni! Looks to me like you're on the wrong side of the river! _The Mummy_ Evelyn: Have you got any bright ideas? Rick: I'm thinking, I'm thinking... Evelyn: You better think of something fast, because, if he turns me into a mummy you're the first one I'm coming after. _The Mummy_ Rick: Well if it ain't my little buddy Beni. I think I'll kill you. Beni: Think of my children. Rick: You don't have any children Beni: Someday I might. _The Mummy_ [drunk.] Evelyn: Look, I... I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure-seeker, or a gunfighter, Mr. O'Connell, but I am proud of what I am. Rick: And what is that? Evelyn: I... am a librarian. _The Mummy_ "Every civilization finds it necessary to negotiate compromises of its own values." -Golda Meir, _Munich_ "There is no peace at the end of this." -Avner, _Munich_ "That is our tragedy: butchers' hands, and gentle souls." -Papa, _Munich_ "That can only mean one thing. And I don't know what that is." _Murder By Death_ Mr. Dingle: You know son... your mother and I, and the ambulance driver, and the coroner, and the embalmer, were all pretty much convinced that you were dead. Johnny: I got better. Mr. Dingle: Huh. Well, welcome home, son. Johnny: Thanks. Mrs. Dingle: Are you hungry, do you want something to eat? Gee, there's a lot of food left over from the funeral. _My Boyfriend's Back_ Johnny: You may not know this, Missy, but I ate Chuck for YOU! Missy's Friend: God, my boyfriend won't even pump gas for me. _My Boyfriend's Back_ Johnny: Sorry I'm late, Mrs. Cooper. You wouldn't BELIEVE the trouble I had getting here! Teacher: I would believe it. And I'm not impressed. You get one demerit. Johnny: But... Teacher: Just because you're dead does not mean that you can come waltzing in here whenever you like. _My Boyfriend's Back_ Johnny: It's because I'm dead, isn't it. That's why you won't go out with me. Missy: Don't insult me. Johnny: You're afraid of what people might say, aren't you. Behind your back, everybody whispering, 'there goes Missy and the dead kid'! _My Boyfriend's Back_ Geena: That was awesome! We were almost killed! Tom: Well, the night is still young. _Mystery Date_ "I'm a superhero, Mother. An effete British superhero." -the Blue Raja, _Mystery Men_ "God's given me a gift. I shovel well. I shovel very well." -the Shoveler, _Mystery Men_ "We've got a blind date with Destiny -- and it looks like she's ordered the lobster." -The Shoveler, _Mystery Men_ "We struck down evil with the mighty sword of teamwork and the hammer of not bickering." -the Shoveler, _Mystery Men_ "Maybe you should put some shorts on or something, if you wanna keep fighting evil today." -The Bowler, _Mystery Men_ "We're not your classic heroes. We're the other guys." -The Shoveler, _Mystery Men_ "Well believe me, Mike, I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid. And I went ahead anyway." -Crow T. Robot, _Mystery Science Theatre: The Movie_ "Oh, who doesn't own an interositer these days?" -Dr. Clayton Forrester, _Mystery Science Theatre: The Movie_ "Let's slip away under cover of afternoon in the biggest car in the county." -Mike Nelson, _Mystery Science Theatre: The Movie_
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